Okay. Here’s the deal. I am actually awful at writing. I really am.
I’ve started quite a few novels in my day. Okay, less than the amount of fingers I have. But it’s a lot for me, who’s extremely secretive about what she writes and is very nervous about what will happen when her family members read this.
Anyway. Most of those books were absolutely atrocious. I never finished any of them. I am now less than ten chapters into my current idea and am now feeling the need to start all over again.
Why? Because this, apparently, is how I write:
- Get idea.
- Start writing. SUPER EXCITEMENT.
- Write four chapters. Still super excited. Brain says, “MERLIN’S PANTS THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER WHY HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE???”
- Period of time in which I stop writing and become a functioning part of society again.
- Start writing again. Think more about plot. Write more chapters.
- Think of small problem in plot.
- “MERLIN’S PANTS THIS IS THE WORST BOOK EVER HOW DID I EVER THINK THIS WOULD BE PUBLISHED???”
- Bang head against wall. Try to fix plot.
- Realize that plot can never be resurrected.
- Save draft, file it away deep in the bottomless chasm that is my laptop’s memory, and never think of it again.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
My books are awful. I know that. At least, I think that. That’s how my brain works when it’s in the same project for too long. I just haven’t come up with a project that I’m willing to put months, possibly years, of work into. But maybe, just maybe, my current idea is good. So instead of continuing with the new draft I started today in a fit of frustration, I am going to actually finish writing my novel.
Maybe if I finish it, then it won’t be so bad. Maybe if I finish it, then I can actually go over it and improve upon it until it’s something worth publishing.
I just feel like I need to finish something.
Instead of constantly being distracted by blogging and Facebook.
UPDATE: So I wrote that last night, while still embroiled in that fit of frustration. Later, however, I realized what my core was, and I just needed to center everything else around that core. And I also came up with an idea for that “everything else” bit. Granted, I thought of it at eleven o’clock at night and that’s late for me, but this morning I’m still feeling okay about it. Maybe a few adjustments.
But I’m ready. And this time I really am going to finish it. But it’s pretty much back to square one with the prewriting bit.
P.S. Before you ask, I’ve resolved not to tell people what my topic is, nor my characters’ personalities, nor anything really. Sorry. Thank you.